evilwizard:

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

tumblr SHIELD. for 3 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post would appear on your dash, a pre-loaded post of yours instead appears on the dashboard of the person who tried to blaze you

tumblr BLAST. for 5 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post of yours would be blocked by tumblr shield, it instead appears in all caps at the top of the shielded person’s dashboard for an hour and flashes violently whenever they try to block it

tumblr POSSESS. for 200$ a day you can post using another person’s blog, though you cannot change their blog in any other way nor delete their previous posts. at the end of the day they receive half of the 200 dollars

tumblr TRUE SIGHT. for 6$ monthly you can see when a blog is possessed. tumblr SCRY. for 30$ a day you can read other blogs’ private messages

tumblr POWER WORD KILL. for a one time payment of 6,666 bucks, you can delete another blog entirely. tumblr notifies all of that blog’s mutuals that you killed them. each user can only use this feature once, and thereafter loses the ability to use any of the other tumblr spells. you must have been a user for at least 10 years to use this feature

tumblr UNDENIABLE SUMMONS. for 35$ you enchant a blog such that they cannot post again until they answer your ask. alternatively, you can simply set a price point of your choosing which they will receive if they choose to answer the ask (though they are not obligated to)

tumblr ENTHRALL. for 4$ a month you can use gifs as your icon again

tumblr FAMILIAR. for 5$ a month, you summon a small, cute familiar—such as a crab, snail, owl or frog—which can carry small messages onto your mutuals’ dashboards for you. owning a familiar also protects you from being tumblr POSSESSed by anyone but your own mutuals

tumblr REFLECT. for a one time payment of 100 dollars, the next time someone attempts to use POWER WORD KILL on you, they are deleted instead. there is no way of knowing whether someone has this feature active

(via brawltogethernow)

nonbinaryjew:

kafkarockopera:

(via richvampire)

hipchoice:

hipchoice:

dhovorei-remake-deactivated2022:

Touch your computer screen. Lol

ok

What’s the Shit! Now it’s got Fingerprot

(via richvampire)

headspace-hotel:

elfie-42:

fxa:

I feel like tumblr is giving me a somewhat skewed impression of what breaking bad is about

(via demilypyro)

roach-works:

non-americans out there just watching us all go nuts for Blaze

(via brawltogethernow)

lesbianmangoes:

batekush:

sorry for the screen recording but this fucking tiktok

French CC: Bonjour à tous, c'est un temps calme qui s'annonce pour votre weekend, début des vacances de février pour…

English translation: Hello everyone, it’s calm weather that’s forecasted for this weekend, beginning of the February holidays for…

(via bondsmagii)

hoer:

pussykech:

hoer:

i think english ppl r too quick to judge cutesy words… like saying drinkie or huggie being considered weird when english is such a dull language compared to others.. like in my native language u can go take a nap by saying ur gonna be doin a lil tukkie :) and put the suffix thats supposed to indicate something being small or cute behind almost every fuckin word we like.. weve all embraced cringe!!!.. join us..

i will give this post a rebloggie

IM LITERALLY GIVING ALL OF U A LIL KISSAROO ON THE FOREHEAD RIGHT NEOW

(via iamgwenslongroadhome)

tikkunolamorgtfo:

creekfiend:

peniswakt-deactivated20210717:

peniswakt-deactivated20210717:

golf sucks but mini golf is fucking awesome….truly one of life’s great paradoxes

golf:

• wastes crazy amounts of space and water
• soul-crushingly boring
• extremely frustrating to all but the highest level of players (most golfers will never even shoot par)
• prohibitively expensive (golf clubs are very costly and one round of golf can cost $100+)

mini golf:

• 18 holes will fit into an area the size of a small park; most courses use astroturf, which doesn’t even require water
• a fun game of skill to challenge your friends to
• easy to get into, but difficult to master
• cheap (you and your friends can probably play for like, $20)
• BONUS: cool obstacles and gimmicks (windmills, water features, secret holes, etc.)

Golf: completely fucking silent practically on pain of death

Mini golf: dunking on ppl while theyre taking a shot is pretty much required

Golf: Largely devoid of pirates, windmills, and dinosaurs.

Mini golf:

(via chambergambit)

randomingoftherandomness:

dreams85andmore:

OP is valid

(via ribbonsandstars)

notallmensheviks:

mewto:

i’d rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i’d live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

we built dick city

we built dick city on cock and balls

(via walterwhte)